tbh haven't seen the movie but this review is golden. "Her movie resembles the greatness of those classics no more than a haircut resembles a decapitation." is crazyyyy your writing is so so good
Perfection. This movie is such a mess and so lifeless. A romcom lacking both rom and com, I don’t see how any fan of the genre could enjoy it. And so many odd touches - Dakota Johnson’s favorite drink is beer and coke?!, Dakota Johnson dressed in a full trench coat like she’s in a John Le Carre movie to stalk her assaulted client!, the poster for the mediocre play Chris Evan’s does highlighting that it was directed by Celine Song - that are at best pointless. Anyway, this review was great.
I’ve never subscribed faster. Excellent review! I agree 100%. I watched Broadcast News right after suffering through Materialists and thought… “She must be joking.” The decapitation line was spot on lol
I never thought that Materialists is trying to be a rom-com. To me, it seems like the movie is a warning - it’s a mirror held up to modern intimacy where desirability is a metric, not a feeling. It reminds me of what i thought I wanted in a partner back when I didn’t love myself very much.
To dismiss its tonal flatness or emotional opacity is to miss that these aren’t accidents of bad craft. they’re purposeful choices made in fidelity to a world where algorithmic matchmaking and economic anxiety shape the soul as much as the storyline.
And yes, the subplot involving leg-lengthening surgery. Wild. But before we laugh it off as silly, consider it a grotesque metaphor, a Black Mirror flourish. The film isn’t saying short men can’t get laid. It’s asking: what happens when male self-worth is so corroded by comparison and commodification that a man literally breaks his bones to feel seen? That’s not silly. That’s horrifying.
Lastly, let’s talk about the so-called “lack of chemistry” between Lucy (Dakota Johnson) and her two suitors. It’s true: these people don’t really connect. That’s the point. to me, it was obvious that their disconnection was purposeful. In a world where desirability is measured by net worth, social capital, or Instagram aesthetics, honest emotional connection often takes a backseat to strategy. So maybe the movie asks: what happens to romance when love becomes a job title, and intimacy becomes a market trend? When we want true, all consuming love but all we’ve been conditioned to want is a list of superficial qualities that will not hold our hand in old age?
The answer, according to Song, is awkwardness.
Dead air.
Beautiful clothes and no heat beneath them.
Passion, heart and depth replaced by intellectual lists.
It’s emotional realism.
Because if you’ve been dating in the year 2025, then you know: romance doesn’t look like The Big Sick anymore. It looks like delayed texts, emotional calculus, and men wearing perfume sample and a linen shirt. Although, to be fair, I’m still pretty sure I’ll get a Sense and Sensibility love for myself. But that’s beside the point.
So this movies depicts well a sort of emotional realism. Dating with Tinder. Dating in a capitalist society? I don’t know. But I think that’s exactly what the movie captures, not through sweeping passion or quotable monologues, but through disconnection, emotional vacancy, and yes, deliberate discomfort.
I loved it. Well, it wasn’t even that I loved it, per se. It was that I understood what it was attempting to convey. Still totally agree with your criticism, but I think many of the things you criticize were done on purpose.
As I said earlier, I haven't seen it (and don't plan to).
However: there are well-established methods of satirizing things without seeming to endorse or glamorize them. It sounds to me like Materialists refused to choose one of them.
I didn’t dislike Materialists as much as you did but this is good criticism — the line about Lucy checking her notebook for clues made me laugh out loud.
It was so bad I almost walked of the theatre. I kept waiting for it to become self-aware, because I couldn’t fathom that it didn’t go deeper or somehow question its own premise. But it never did. I found it to be a mean-spirited, relentlessly repetitive takedown of men who don’t happen to be tall and very wealthy. The protagonist herself, who is arrogant and dull and viciously critical of men, has nothing to offer in terms of personality, charm, charisma, or success. It lacked the intelligence of good satire and the wit of good comedy.
Maybe it was self-aware for wealthy people? Everyone kept touting it as a fresh take on modern dating, so I was waiting for it to resonate. But the dating preferences of the ultra wealthy just aren’t relatable to me, I guess? None of the single women I know really care that much about height. We’re literally just praying a man can hold a conversation and ask a damn question. The bar is so low but the movie kept ensuring us that our standards are actually too high or superficial. The whole thing felt very male gaze - what men think women want in a man (tall, rich) - but didn’t reveal any truth. I thought maybe when she talks about feeling “valued” we might be getting somewhere. But they never went deeper on her relationship with Evans’ character to make the point. Sigh.
Totally agree. Its views of dating and courtship seem cribbed entirely from online discourses detached from reality/NY Magazine articles engineered for virality. There's too much shoddiness in the craft to determine how self-aware it's supposed to be, anyway, and even as a lifeless-on-purpose meta-comment on wealth's corrupting influence on intimacy and partnership it feels reductive and, worse, untrue.
And by the way, I was excited to see it because I loved Past Lives, which I thought was well-written and nuanced, slow but in a way that was sort of endearing. This was just slow and charmless.
This movie was so boring. The characters kept saying “what are you thinking about?” To each other - what terrible lazy dialogue! 0 chemistry. No reason why we would think Lucy would want to get back together with her poor ex other than she just discovered her rich boyfriend was naturally secretly 5’6”. I can’t believe it got such good reviews!!!
I’ve only seen clips of the movie but enjoyed reading your take! The comparisons to other romance films intrigued me; one interviewer mentioned “When Harry Met Sally” so I had high hopes.
Not sure if you’ve watched and/or have thoughts on Song’s other movie “Past Lives.” I enjoyed it and have heard from friends that they also did.
I thought Past Lives was totally fine, even good at points. However, I did have the sneaking suspicion that I was being conned as the characters kept explaining, re-explaining, and re-re-explaining the significance of the title. It now appears I may have been conned.
The problem with professional reviewers (ie ones that work for major media outlets) is that they literally CANT give a poor review, or their job is on the line. Theatre critics will no longer receive comp tickets, and cinema critics will suddenly find themselves not on the premiere list- so you have to smile and play nice, even when the movie is steaming pile of dung. Bring back critics unafraid to make artists weep.
For the record, I only think Ms. Song should want for opportunities in film & TV, where resources should be allocated to more capable filmmakers. I fully support her having every opportunity to succeed as a bank teller, busker, microbangs influencer, etc.
Insane comment. I haven’t even seen Materialists yet but Past Lives was the best film of 2023. Not even the worst sophomore slump can take away from that
tbh haven't seen the movie but this review is golden. "Her movie resembles the greatness of those classics no more than a haircut resembles a decapitation." is crazyyyy your writing is so so good
you have no idea how hard that line will hit if you stream the movie on MAX in three months
Perfection. This movie is such a mess and so lifeless. A romcom lacking both rom and com, I don’t see how any fan of the genre could enjoy it. And so many odd touches - Dakota Johnson’s favorite drink is beer and coke?!, Dakota Johnson dressed in a full trench coat like she’s in a John Le Carre movie to stalk her assaulted client!, the poster for the mediocre play Chris Evan’s does highlighting that it was directed by Celine Song - that are at best pointless. Anyway, this review was great.
🕵️♀️
I’ve never subscribed faster. Excellent review! I agree 100%. I watched Broadcast News right after suffering through Materialists and thought… “She must be joking.” The decapitation line was spot on lol
ha, I started an Age of Innocence detox-rewatch as soon as I was home
I never thought that Materialists is trying to be a rom-com. To me, it seems like the movie is a warning - it’s a mirror held up to modern intimacy where desirability is a metric, not a feeling. It reminds me of what i thought I wanted in a partner back when I didn’t love myself very much.
To dismiss its tonal flatness or emotional opacity is to miss that these aren’t accidents of bad craft. they’re purposeful choices made in fidelity to a world where algorithmic matchmaking and economic anxiety shape the soul as much as the storyline.
And yes, the subplot involving leg-lengthening surgery. Wild. But before we laugh it off as silly, consider it a grotesque metaphor, a Black Mirror flourish. The film isn’t saying short men can’t get laid. It’s asking: what happens when male self-worth is so corroded by comparison and commodification that a man literally breaks his bones to feel seen? That’s not silly. That’s horrifying.
Lastly, let’s talk about the so-called “lack of chemistry” between Lucy (Dakota Johnson) and her two suitors. It’s true: these people don’t really connect. That’s the point. to me, it was obvious that their disconnection was purposeful. In a world where desirability is measured by net worth, social capital, or Instagram aesthetics, honest emotional connection often takes a backseat to strategy. So maybe the movie asks: what happens to romance when love becomes a job title, and intimacy becomes a market trend? When we want true, all consuming love but all we’ve been conditioned to want is a list of superficial qualities that will not hold our hand in old age?
The answer, according to Song, is awkwardness.
Dead air.
Beautiful clothes and no heat beneath them.
Passion, heart and depth replaced by intellectual lists.
It’s emotional realism.
Because if you’ve been dating in the year 2025, then you know: romance doesn’t look like The Big Sick anymore. It looks like delayed texts, emotional calculus, and men wearing perfume sample and a linen shirt. Although, to be fair, I’m still pretty sure I’ll get a Sense and Sensibility love for myself. But that’s beside the point.
So this movies depicts well a sort of emotional realism. Dating with Tinder. Dating in a capitalist society? I don’t know. But I think that’s exactly what the movie captures, not through sweeping passion or quotable monologues, but through disconnection, emotional vacancy, and yes, deliberate discomfort.
I loved it. Well, it wasn’t even that I loved it, per se. It was that I understood what it was attempting to convey. Still totally agree with your criticism, but I think many of the things you criticize were done on purpose.
As I said earlier, I haven't seen it (and don't plan to).
However: there are well-established methods of satirizing things without seeming to endorse or glamorize them. It sounds to me like Materialists refused to choose one of them.
Genuinely curious, how can anyone assess what a film does well or poorly without actually watching it? If you have physic powers, I apologize.
You seem to be ignoring that I said I haven’t seen it. This was a review of other reviews and comments.
Gotcha!
I didn’t dislike Materialists as much as you did but this is good criticism — the line about Lucy checking her notebook for clues made me laugh out loud.
🙏🏻
Rotten Tomatoes needs to start automatically slashing 20% off new A24 movie scores
flop era is officially underway
It was so bad I almost walked of the theatre. I kept waiting for it to become self-aware, because I couldn’t fathom that it didn’t go deeper or somehow question its own premise. But it never did. I found it to be a mean-spirited, relentlessly repetitive takedown of men who don’t happen to be tall and very wealthy. The protagonist herself, who is arrogant and dull and viciously critical of men, has nothing to offer in terms of personality, charm, charisma, or success. It lacked the intelligence of good satire and the wit of good comedy.
Maybe it was self-aware for wealthy people? Everyone kept touting it as a fresh take on modern dating, so I was waiting for it to resonate. But the dating preferences of the ultra wealthy just aren’t relatable to me, I guess? None of the single women I know really care that much about height. We’re literally just praying a man can hold a conversation and ask a damn question. The bar is so low but the movie kept ensuring us that our standards are actually too high or superficial. The whole thing felt very male gaze - what men think women want in a man (tall, rich) - but didn’t reveal any truth. I thought maybe when she talks about feeling “valued” we might be getting somewhere. But they never went deeper on her relationship with Evans’ character to make the point. Sigh.
Totally agree. Its views of dating and courtship seem cribbed entirely from online discourses detached from reality/NY Magazine articles engineered for virality. There's too much shoddiness in the craft to determine how self-aware it's supposed to be, anyway, and even as a lifeless-on-purpose meta-comment on wealth's corrupting influence on intimacy and partnership it feels reductive and, worse, untrue.
Omg yes it’s like if The Cut made a movie.
🙂↕️
And by the way, I was excited to see it because I loved Past Lives, which I thought was well-written and nuanced, slow but in a way that was sort of endearing. This was just slow and charmless.
Have not seen the movie but this is the second scathing review to come across my Substack feed and now I’m getting curious 😅
This movie was so boring. The characters kept saying “what are you thinking about?” To each other - what terrible lazy dialogue! 0 chemistry. No reason why we would think Lucy would want to get back together with her poor ex other than she just discovered her rich boyfriend was naturally secretly 5’6”. I can’t believe it got such good reviews!!!
This review was the bright spark in my day, thank you
I’ve only seen clips of the movie but enjoyed reading your take! The comparisons to other romance films intrigued me; one interviewer mentioned “When Harry Met Sally” so I had high hopes.
Not sure if you’ve watched and/or have thoughts on Song’s other movie “Past Lives.” I enjoyed it and have heard from friends that they also did.
I thought Past Lives was totally fine, even good at points. However, I did have the sneaking suspicion that I was being conned as the characters kept explaining, re-explaining, and re-re-explaining the significance of the title. It now appears I may have been conned.
In-yun propaganda of sorts
The problem with professional reviewers (ie ones that work for major media outlets) is that they literally CANT give a poor review, or their job is on the line. Theatre critics will no longer receive comp tickets, and cinema critics will suddenly find themselves not on the premiere list- so you have to smile and play nice, even when the movie is steaming pile of dung. Bring back critics unafraid to make artists weep.
I love a scathing review. I also loved Past Lives so this is both very entertaining and very disappointing to hear!
I miss scathing movie reviews. If the roast is good enough I might actually go see the film.
Today's critics are just another part of the marketing apparatus.
this was so spot on and great
A bit extreme to think Celine Song should receive less opportunities bc you didn't like her movie 😂 the discourse on this film has lost the plot
For the record, I only think Ms. Song should want for opportunities in film & TV, where resources should be allocated to more capable filmmakers. I fully support her having every opportunity to succeed as a bank teller, busker, microbangs influencer, etc.
Insane comment. I haven’t even seen Materialists yet but Past Lives was the best film of 2023. Not even the worst sophomore slump can take away from that